down the rabbit hole

conspiracy as praxis

Happy Sunday, Emotional Speculation readers!

A heads up that today in the newsletter I’m going to be diving into one of my most-requested topics. A theory so divisive, so hotly discussed, that I’m actually a little afraid to dip my toes into its waters… Before I get into that though, let’s take a look at this week in news. Two things seem to have dominated my feeds the past few days: the first is, unfortunately, Glee, and the second is Emily Ratajkowski. Apparently, it’s 10 years ago!

As I’ve made clear before, I have never actually watched Glee, but over the years I’ve sat back in mild amusement as people discuss, feverishly, the drama and in-fighting that went on behind the scenes of what I gather was a neeky lil show about a capella (don’t correct me if I’m wrong pls! i don’t care x). And as you know, that mild amusement morphed into genuine interest with the whole Lea Michele/Funny Girl thing, for no other reason than I live by the maxim of good gossip is good gossip regardless of context. With that in mind, I relished the news that a documentary about Glee is in the works. Finally, a deep dive into what actually happened on that show to make its stars say things like this, years later! And in a super digestible form, too! I’m so thankful to whoever has decided this needs to happen so that I can fully wrap my head around the drama without having to engage with the primary source (i.e. watch Glee in 2022 as a 27 year old woman).

a truly, truly cursed show… I can’t wait!

So: to Emrata, another figure occupying a conflicted position in public consciousness. You may remember that back in July, Emily Ratajkowski and her husband announced they were splitting, which I didn’t deem interesting enough to actually write about but made a note of nonetheless. Since then, she has been on a real PR drive: walking in fashion weeks, appearing on Ziwe’s show, showing off her workspace in AD. Standard stuff, really, and none of it is the reason she’s been all over my feed this week. No, the reason she’s been everywhere this week is because she is following in Dua Lipa’s footsteps and launching a podcast, which is apparently going to cover such untrodden ground as feminism, sex and Tik Tok. Finally, a celebrity weighs in on this stuff!!! Hilariously, she announced this news by saying she was “in her bitch era” (correlation between monologuing into a microphone and being a bitch not quite clear yet). Anyway, the podcast is called… High Low, which most women in my demographic will recognise instantly as the name of a pre-existing, since-finished podcast that covered feminism, sex and Instagram, hosted by Dolly Alderton and Pandora Sykes. I mean obviously it’s likely that Emrata, a US-based model, had never heard of a British podcast hosted by two London media micro-personalities. But then again, Emrata wrote a book last year and Pandora Sykes interviewed her as part of the promo, so she probably had heard of it at least a little.  And she was also a guest on the podcast. Oops! Whilst the concept of high/low cultural commentary is anything but patented (if it were, I’d be fucked), this is not the first time Emrata has borrowed IP from someone else: when she first launched her swimwear line, Lisa Marie Fernandez, fellow swimwear designer, sued her for copyright. Then there’s the name of that swimwear line, Inamorata, which was allegedly lifted from a small Los Angeles-based boutique that had gifted her items previously. Oops again! I’m sure there’s something to be said about a woman who has written extensively about her frustrations at her image being used by others against her will stealing other people’s ideas and profiting from them, but maybe that’s something to explore in my own podcast and not take up precious real estate in your inboxes with (just kidding, I haven’t reached podcast territory just yet).

Anyway all that aside, I have to say the podcast, pitched in the same space as Call Her Daddy, does not sound either good or necessary. Indeed if it’s anything like Call Her Daddy, truly a scourge on the podcast genre, I won’t even be listening for research purposes. Perhaps someone else can and report back for the wider Emotional Speculation community?

good lippy tbf!

Okay so, I’ve kept you waiting long enough.  Let’s talk about… #Gaylor. Why now, I hear you ask? Well, firstly because it’s nearly time for Taylor Swift’s next album, and secondly because the rest of the celebs are giving us basically nothing at the minute (see above) so I’m left with no choice but to turn to conspiracy, rifling around the darkest corners of the internet like a little rat in a public bin.

 For those that don’t know, #Gaylor is a longstanding theory in the Swiftie community that Taylor Swift had two significant relationships with other famous blonde women, one of them being the Victoria’s Secret model and Trump-in-law Karlie Kloss and the other being Glee star Dianna Agron (all roads apparently lead to Glee). I’ll break this down blonde woman by blonde woman, so as not to get things too confusing.

Dianna Agron

Proponents of the Gaylor theory suggest that Taylor and Dianna dated in the early 2010s, officially known as Taylor’s Red era. During this period, Taylor was seen to be dating Harry Styles and Conor Kennedy, but Diana was often there in pap pics of their dates. The other evidence? I suggest you search ‘Swiftgron’ on TikTok if you want the full theory, but the main things you need to know are that they flirted a lot on Twitter and Dianna Agron loves Alice in Wonderland so much that her Tumblr username was “felldownarabbithole” and she had lines from the book tattooed on her ribs. I know - all very 2010s. So anyway, Taylor Swift, famous confessional songwriter, wrote a bunch of songs with reference to Alice in Wonderland, notably one actually called Wonderland that references Dianna’s green eyes. In the intervening years since they allegedly broke up, Dianna has had her rib tattoo removed. Do with that what you will.

Karlie Kloss

This, for believers, is the Big One. Some even believe they’re still together to this day, and that Karlie’s Kushner man and Taylor’s Joe Alwyn are longstanding beards. Again, do with that what you will. Again, you’ll need to look up Kaylor if you want the full details, but the story goes like this: Taylor and Karlie, very publicly the bestest of friends from like 2014-onwards, were actually big time in love for most of the latter half of the decade, doing classic couple things like kissing at concerts and going on romantic holidays together frequently. Taylor serenaded Karlie at her concerts and the two of them also became obsessed with daisies for some reason, in that very “this is our thing” sort of way. Apparently all of the love songs on Reputation are about Karlie Kloss.

in the pre-Kushner days

There’s also a whole subsect of the theory that believes that Taylor was planning to officially come out around the release of her (rightly) much-maligned 2019 album, Lover. Evidence for this strand of the theory includes the fact that Taylor’s hair is dyed in the bi flag colours in the video for You Need to Calm Down, and it’s all heavily hinted at in the accompanying documentary, Miss Americana. And if this all seems a bit too tenuous, remember that Ms Swift is one of the world’s foremost advocates of the ‘easter egg’, forever leaving little clues for her fans in her songs and music videos, sometimes years ahead of time. Throw all this together with the flurry of songs about women named Betty and Marjorie in her 2020 albums and you’ve got a full view of the theory.

a musical low point, regardless of message

Like all conspiracy theories, this one requires absolute conviction of its central premise to make all the parts add up. And it really does take some conviction to believe Taylor Swift, arguably one of the most famously straight woman on the planet, is secretly dating VS models whilst pretending to be happily shacked up with Joe Alwyn. But if you look at the evidence for long enough…. if you listen to some lyrics hard enough… if you spend enough time down the rabbit hole…. ……. …..

What I’m really saying is that whether there’s truth to it or not doesn’t really matter. Obvs it’s completely up to Taylor Swift if she ever wants to address it formally, and I don’t believe anyone’s actually calling for her to come out or anything like that. Rather, this belongs to that scary/beautiful part of fan internet, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Larry Stylinson, Avril Lavigne’s clone and that powerpoint about Lorde and Jack Antonoff as the creme de la creme of celebrity conspiracies that people have poured their hearts and souls into creating and keeping alive. Emotional speculation in its purest form!!

Anyway, here ends my Sunday sermon. Looking forward to hearing what you all think about this - I, for one, can be convinced either way depending on how much Taylor Swift I’ve been listening to and how much time I’ve spent on Tiktok. So if you feel strongly either way, let me know. I’m ready to be taken in!!!

Until next time, this has been Emotional Speculation. As ever, thanks for reading, and enjoy this gorgeous autumn day!

xoxo