the goddaughter
Hi friends,
Happy Hump Day, and more importantly, happy Aries szn! Hope you’re all taking care of yourselves in preparation for the birthday parties of literally everyone you know (no? just me?). We’ll dive right in this week, shall we?
First up, of course, we have to talk about Sofia Coppola’s daughter Romy, who went viral this week for perfecting the art of Tiktok and making the most meaningful contribution to the nepo baby discourse since The Cut.
Obviously, the reason everyone is obsessed with this is because we love it when the Hollywood curtain gets lifted, even just a little, and we get to see how nuts it all really is. And Romy has packed so much into just 49 seconds: helicopters! absent, famous parents! the revelation that yes, the celebs are intensely scared of the discourse! She’s given us so much in such a short time <3
Naturally, Twitter very quickly resurfaced a 2017 Guardian interview with Sofia Coppola in which she stated that she never took her kids to movie premieres or any other celebrity stuff lest they became jaded. This does, obviously, make it funnier that despite best efforts, this is a 16 year old who genuinely thought chartering a helicopter to see a friend from camp was a viable transport option and doesn’t know what a shallot looks like. You can (try to) take the girl out of Hollywood…
Truthfully, this vid does everything that Hailey Bieber thought she was doing with that lil nepo baby tee, and I have no choice but to respect it. This is how we want our nepo babies - making silly fun of themselves, their peers, and - crucially - their parents! And to be honest, it has all the hallmarks of some pretty good storytelling: high stakes, intrigue, just the right amount of whimsy… and talk about burying the lede! Those Coppola genes, man. Francis Ford must be proud.
And in related news, spare a thought for the OG nepo baby Gwyneth Paltrow, who’s taken time out from hawking vaginal eggs online to hit the headlines this week. First, GP and her nutritionist went viral for a podcast ep in which they talk about her healing journey from long covid. During the discussion she talked us through her current diet, which basically consists of coffee and bone broth. Mmmm! Naturally, this raised some eyebrows amongst those of us who aren’t on board with the early-2000s renaissance. So clamorous were the complaints, though, that GP was forced to take to instagram to share pics of her cooking actual, real food in order to hush the critics. And as if that wasn’t enough for the poor girl, she is now, as we speak, having to defend herself in court against a retired doctor claiming she crashed into him in a skiing hit and run - a claim the defence is professionally calling “utter BS”. It’s no Wagatha Christie, but we will watch with mild interest over the next 8 days nonetheless.
Next up, in huge news for me personally, Charli XCX and Jack Antonoff are collaborating on the soundtrack to a movie starring Anne Hathaway and Michaela Coel. It should be fairly obvious to readers old and new of this newsletter why that’s a big deal, so I won’t elaborate. Needless to say, I will be making a rare trip to the cinéma to see this film as god intended (on a really big screen with my friends).
Really, the only other thing that mattered this week is that Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour has begun. She kicked things off in Glendale, Arizona - a city which was genuinely renamed ‘Swift City’ by its own Mayor to mark the occasion, a move which is kinda simpy and not especially inspiring (I would’ve gone with Swiftdale, personally! But that’s just me). For anyone who hasn’t seen the videos of the three (3!) hour set, let me tell you: she has absolutely aced it. It looks soo good! So many outfits, such good staging, there’s a bit where she literally dives under the stage and then it looks like she’s swimming beneath it…? honestly very impressive stuff and I can’t wait to go see it for myself when she eventually announces a UK tour. Actually quite gutted she isn’t the Glastonbury headliner this year, a sentence I did not think I’d be saying back in 2019 when ME! ft Brendan Urie was released. But I guess she does love to keep us on our toes.
And on the topic of musicians, I feel compelled to let you all know that since I last wrote this newsletter I’ve experienced something genuinely life changing and I’m being so serious: I went to see Fall Out Boy. Sorry to anyone who spoke to me the day after this but it was at Heaven (tiny!) and they played all their old hits that I loved feverishly as a teen, so I was still processing. And for any former pop punk princesses wondering: yes, Pete Wentz is still fit!
Have yet again failed to keep this short n sweet, but nvm. Have good weeks, gang, and catch you in British Summer Time (!!!!). As ever, thanks for reading Emotional Speculation.
xoxo